Brain: I’m not used to this. Why is everything taking so damn long! I’ve always gotten everything I needed and wanted with ease. I never had to wait this long. Or ever, really.
Heart: But you’re different now – older, wiser. You’re closer to yourself than you’ve ever been, and that scares you. It freaks you out to realize you have ZERO control and FULL control at the same time. Things are happening in their own way. It just seems like things are ‘taking a lot longer’ now because you actually find yourself calm…maybe even still in some moments. Before you were running like a hamster on its wheel before, using precious energy but not really going anywhere. Now you’re actually letting things be, and you’re noticing things happen naturally.
Brain: What you’re saying makes no sense. How am I more myself than before? I’ve always been me. Anyway, I don’t have time for this shit. If I work for something, I should get it right away. Why do I have to wait to get something I already did the work to receive?! It’s not like the universe takes time to ship me an order that I placed weeks ago! Isn’t it supposed to be instantaneous? Isn’t that how prayer works? Ask and ye shall receive?! Isn’t that how success works? Work hard and reap the reward?
Heart: You always receive everything you ask for, but never in the way that you think. It doesn’t work that way.
Brain: Fuck you with your pithy remarks.
Heart: It’s okay that you’re frustrated. Sometimes I have to numb myself from crying. Sometimes I don’t know how to thaw after freezing myself off from all the feelings. So I just stay stoned and lifeless for a long time.
Brain: There’s nothing wrong with that. That’s a logical defense tactic. If you are weak, you need to shield yourself so you can heal and become stronger. Sometimes you need to break things up into small pieces so you can properly digest it. You can’t always feel EVERYTHING all the time. You need to take it step by step. Assess the situation. Be practical. Eventually your frozen ass will melt and you’ll be playing with Life again. The problem is, I don’t have that same option: to shut off.
Heart: Sure you do. It’s called meditation. It’s called letting things be. It’s called flow state, or heart-brain coherence.
Brain: How could I “let things be” when I don’t understand what that “thing” is?
Heart: That’s the point. You don’t have to understand it. Sometimes you just do it and receive the benefits from doing it.
Brain: That actually makes sense in a weird way.
Heart: I love you when you say that.
Brain: I hate it when I admit that. Yuck, why are you still here??